Dating and Domestic Violence 

Dating and domestic violence is the use of coercive and abusive tactics by one partner in a relationship to gain power and control over the other partner. Dating and domestic violence includes physical, emotional, sexual, and economic abuse. In many cases, the abuse increases in severity and frequency as time passes.  

Physical Abuse

• Pushing, shoving, slapping, punching, kicking, or strangling
• Assaulting with a weapon or object
• Holding, tying down, or restraining
• Leaving the partner in a dangerous place
• Refusing to help when the partner is sick or injured
• Withholding medicine or treatment from the partner

Emotional Abuse

• Threatening harm to partner or to oneself 
• Intimidating (smashing things, destroying his/her property)
• Isolating the partner (physically or socially)
• Exhibiting jealousy and possessiveness
• Degrading and humiliating actions
• Manipulating partner or making partner feel guilty

Sexual Abuse

• Forcing or attempting to force unwanted sexual acts
• Pursuing sexual activity when the partner is not fully conscious or asleep
• Causing intentional physical pain during sex 

Economic Abuse

• Preventing partner from getting or keeping a job
• Denying access to household finances or making partner ask or beg for money

Sexual Assault

Sexual assault is any sexual contact or penetration without consent, including forcible and non-forcible offenses. Forcible offenses include rape (penetration), sodomy (oral or anal intercourse), sexual assault with an object, fondling. Non-forcible offenses include incest and statutory rape (intercourse with someone who is not of legal age to consent). 

Consent to engage in sexual activity must be voluntary and not obtained through force. The four types of force are physical violence, threats, intimidation, and coercion. A person cannot consent to sexual activity if they are incapacitated (temporarily or permanently) or a minor. Consent may be withdrawn at any time during sexual activity. Previous consensual sexual activity between individuals does not imply consent for future sexual activity.    

Examples of sexual assault include:

• Touching, fondling, kissing, or making any unwanted contact with a person’s body
• Inserting a finger, tongue, mouth, penis, or an object in or on another person’s vagina, penis, or anus without consent
• Using force to engage in any sexual activity
• Forcing someone to look at sexually explicit material or to pose for sexually explicit pictures
• Receiving unnecessary, unprofessional, or inappropriate touching of breasts, buttocks, or genitals by a doctor, nurse, or other health care professional

Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment is verbal, physical, or other inappropriate conduct of a sexual nature that adversely impacts an individual’s educational or work environment.  Quid pro quo (something for something) sexual harassment occurs when the participation in unwelcome sexual conduct is a condition of educational or employment benefits or services.  Hostile environment sexual harassment occurs when conduct of a sexual nature is severe, pervasive, and objectively offensive and it interferes with an individual’s educational or work environment. 

Examples of sexual harassment include:

• Sexually suggestive facial expressions, gestures, remarks, or jokes
• Sharing or asking about sexual experiences
• Unwanted sexually suggestive communications
• Asking repeatedly for dates after being declined
• Asking for sexual favors

Stalking

Stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for their safety or suffer substantial emotional distress. A course of conduct means two or more acts in which an individual directly or indirectly (by any method, means or device) follows, monitors, observes, surveils, threatens, or communicates with or about a person. 

Examples of stalking include:

• Following and showing up uninvited to see an individual
• Making repeated and unwanted contact at someone’s home, work, school, or other location
• Sending repeated and unwanted emails, letters, or other communications (e.g., texts, social media messages, phone calls)
• Using technology (e.g., phones, hidden cameras) to monitor and track someone’s location and activities
• Sending unwanted gifts

If you think you are being stalked:

1. Contact police if you are in immediate danger.  If off-campus, dial 911.  If on-campus, dial 5-6165.
2. Don't communicate with the stalker.
3. Develop a safety plan. Change your routine, arrange an alternate place to stay, and have family/friends go places with you. Also, decide in advance what to do if the stalker appears at your home, work, school, or somewhere else. Tell family, friends, roommates, and coworkers how they can help you if the stalker appears. A crisis hotline or advocacy center can help develop a safety plan, provide information about local laws, explain the process to request a protection order, and make referrals to other services.
4. Keep evidence of the stalking. Maintain a log of times, dates, and places that the stalker appears. Retain text messages, emails, voicemail messages, letters, or notes. Photograph anything of yours the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes. Ask witnesses to document anything they hear or see. 
5. Contact the police for assistance and information about available protective orders. 
6. Seek support from family, friends, roommates, and coworkers.